I have decided that since things have gotten pretty heated around here, we are due for some laughs. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy any spirited debate that stays on topic, which the torture debate has. But there comes a time when you just need a laugh, which has been a focal point of this blog. It is in this spirit that I present this post.
In case you missed it, here are some videos from the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. It is one of the most fun political times of the year. It is the only time up-tight politicians sit back and laugh at themselves. This year’s key-note speaker was Wonda Sykes. A favorite punch line seemed to be Biden and his propensity to say whatever comes to mind. I’ve included some of my favorite moments in case you don’t have the time to watch the videos (which total over thirty minutes), though I thoroughly recommend it.
Some of my favorite jokes from Wonda’s speech:
- “It’s funny to me that they’ve never caught you [Obama] smoking but they somehow always catch you with your shirt off. I know you into this transparency thing, but ah, I don’t need to see your nipples.”
- “Proud to be able to say that, you know ‘The first black president.’ That’s unless you screw up. Then it’s gonna be ‘What’s up with the half-white guy?’”
- A very funny part of the speech is at about 5:37 into part 1. Most camera cut-aways are to people laughing hysterically. But during a Secret Service joke, they cut to an actual member of the Secret Service, and he looks very serious and, frankly, a little pissed. I thought that was pretty funny.
- “What’s up with all these governors not wanting to take the money? Who turns down money? Maybe you get Oprah to give it away. Oprah’s like, ‘Okay governors, look under your seats!’”
- “Governor Palin, she’s not here tonight. She pulled out at the last minute. Somebody should tell her, ‘That’s not really how you practice abstinence.’”
- Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails, so you said ‘I hope America fails…’ To me, that’s treason. He’s not saying anything differently than what Osama bin Laden is saying. You might wanna look into this sir because I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the twentieth high jacker but he was just so strung out on oxycontin he missed his flight… Rush Limbaugh, ‘I hope the country fails.’ I hope his kidneys fail, how ’bout that?”
- On Sean Hannity, “He can’t take a waterboardin.’ I can break Sean Hannity by giving him a middle seat in coach.”
- Another great moment is at about 4:12 into part 2. Glenn Beck doesn’t seem enjoy the Dick Cheney jokes.
- “Dick Cheney is trying to defend torture. He goes, ‘Yeah, well, they should release the memos that show all the good information we got from our practices.’ You can’t defend torture. That’s like me robbin’ a bank and then goin’ in front of the judge and going, ‘Yes your honor, I robbed a bank, but look at all these bills I paid.’”
Some of my favorite jokes from Obama’s speech:
- Referreing to Mother’s Day, “This a tough holiday for Rahm Emanuel because he’s not used to saying the word ‘day’ after mother.”
- “Michael Steele is in the house tonight, or as he might say, ‘The Hizzie.’”
- “These days we could not be closer.” Referring to Hilary Clinton, “In fact, the second she got back from Mexico she pulled me into a hug and gave me a big kiss; told me I better get down there my self.”
- “During the second hundred days, we will design, build, and open a library dedicated to my first hundred days.”
- “Finally, I believe that my next hundred days will be so successful that I will be able to complete them in seventy-two days, and on the seventy-third day I will rest.”
Pretty funny stuff, huh?
Enjoy the smell of fresh-cut grass (and some antihistamines).
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