Ian Gavan/Getty Images
When Payne, Styles, Horan, Malik and Tomlinson all made it as far as they were going to go individually on the hit U.K. competition in 2010, it was Scherzinger who most resisted the idea of sending any of them home.
“They’re just too talented to get rid of,” she said in never-before-seen footage released in 2022. “They’ve got just the right look and the right charisma onstage. I think they’ll be really great in a boy band together. They’re like little stars. You can’t get rid of little stars, you know? So you put them all together.”
When Cowell waffled a bit about sending Payne through, as seen in the clip, Scherzinger insisted that “he’s better than anyone else.”
(Incidentally, Payne’s father also played a role: “I called my dad, I was like, ‘This is weird, I know I just told you I’m out but they want to put me in a boy band, like what do you think about it?'” he reminisced on Logan Paul’s Impaulsive podcast in 2022. “He said, ‘Well, you can either be 100 percent of nothing or one-fifth of something.’ And I thought, Hmm, very clever, Geoffrey.”)
And with that, One Direction was off to the races, the lads—Tomlinson being the oldest, followed by Malik, Payne, Horan and Styles—doing the rest of their growing up as international sensations.
Which had its low points, Payne noting that sometimes the scrutiny, even from complete strangers online, could be hurtful. And he admittedly didn’t always have the tools to disregard what critics were saying.
“It’s a really fine line between getting too wrapped up in what’s going on and not being wrapped up enough in it,” he said on a June 2021 episode of The Diary of a CEO podcast. Sometimes it hurt, sometimes he laughed it off. But, he added, “I’ve gone through eras where I was a little clapback, attitude-driven youth….I was a bit mean and nasty at points.”

Karwai Tang/WireImage
He took to writing a note in his phone instead of firing off a tweet. “And then it gets all what you would tweet out but you don’t say it,” he said. “That was the best thing I ever did.”
But those were the things they don’t teach you when you’re first starting out.
“When we were 17, I thought the security guard was in charge of me,” Payne recalled. “I was like, ‘Can we leave the room?’ ‘No.’ ‘Oh, OK then, not to worry, I’ll just stay here.’ That’s what it was like. So I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. There’s no guidebook. They don’t give you a little DVD on the way in, saying, ‘Here, you’re a pop star!'”
Eventually, he continued, “that becomes, like, an angry person, and I was, because there was points where it was toxic and it was difficult. Don’t get me wrong, we had the best time ever, we did, but there was moments, where…You don’t realize you have a choice at that point.”
On shows like The X Factor, you “want the dream,” Payne explained, “but you have to realize, there is a sacrifice for that.”
Which wasn’t to say he didn’t feel responsible for his own actions, he added, “being an alcoholic, doing whatever else, that was my choice. So it doesn’t have to be whiny, but I know it was a sacrifice to be here.”
Eventually, he continued, “that becomes, like, an angry person, and I was, because there was points where it was toxic and it was difficult. Don’t get me wrong, we had the best time ever, we did, but there was moments, where…You don’t realize you have a choice at that point.”
On shows like The X Factor, you “want the dream,” Payne explained, “but you have to realize, there is a sacrifice for that.”
Which wasn’t to say he didn’t feel responsible for his own actions, he added, “being an alcoholic, doing whatever else, that was my choice. So it doesn’t have to be whiny, but I know it was a sacrifice to be here.”

Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images for Disney
Payne, who at the time had recently ended his engagement to Maya Henry (they’d rekindle but break up again in 2022) and said he’d been sober for a month, talked about his renewed devotion to fitness. He shared that he had seen himself on TV performing on the BAFTAs earlier that year and didn’t look “how I wanted to look” after months of pandemic lockdown.
Hitting the gym again provided “the best outcome for me,” he said, “because I feel so much more secure in myself now and I feel like I know where I’m at again.” And once he was back at it, Payne continued, “I’m fairly good with keeping myself on the go with it…The only part of it for me was just alcohol, you can’t train and drink, you can’t do it all at once.”
“You’re either going to be a rock star,” he added, “or you’re going to be a star in the gym. That’s your choice.”
And in that case, having an addictive personality wasn’t the worst, Payne said, because “there’s a lot worse things to be addicted to than looking after yourself.”
Which is what he was trying to do when he checked into treatment in Louisiana, saying in his July 2023 video, “I kind of had to go away to get better.”
“I was in bad shape up to that point,” he explained, “and I was really happy more than anything when I arrived to kind of put a stopper on life and work. I didn’t have my phone for nearly 100 days. I didn’t connect with the outside world at all, and it was kind of prepping me for that moment, upon leaving—the hardest part was turning the phone back on.”

DANIEL LEAL/AFP via Getty Images
But, Payne continued, “It was a nice world to come back out to. Ever since then I’ve just kind of been trying to learn to get to know this new guy.”
The singer, who had started dating Cassidy in 2022, also thanked Bear and his son’s mum for giving him the freedom to go get well, which he simply had to do.
“There’s no point in trying to be a dad when you’ve got nothing to teach,” Payne said, “and I don’t think up until this point I really had much to say to him other than just caring for him and loving him very deeply, which are obviously the most important things. But I just kind of feel like I’ve got more of a grip on life now and everything that was kind of getting away from me, I’ve got more of a handle on it.”
And that’s what makes this story especially heartbreaking. For more memories, keep reading to see Payne’s life in pictures:
2010
2010 src=https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/z8.WD.f.95fTUGt17Bd9ig–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTE1NTE-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/e__181/2734f6181b1dea37537a8287e4151f9c>
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2010
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Yui Mok/PA Images via Getty Images
2011
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2012
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2012
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2012
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2013
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2014
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2014
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2015
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2015
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2016
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2017
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Marcus Ingram/Getty Images for iHeartMedia
2017
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2018
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2018
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2019
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2020
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2021
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2021
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2022
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2022
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2023
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Jeff Spicer/Getty Images for Atlantis The Royal
2023
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Dave Benett/Getty Images for Annabel’s
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