Editorial: Key West, Nuuk Or Falls Church?

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A prominent website is now ranking the appeal of foreign destinations for its readers to consider in the event the election next month goes the wrong way. Mexico and Portugal are at the top of its list, though we also suggest Vancouver, Canada, given its mild weather compared to its destinations further to the east.

Perhaps another option would be to do as Key West, Florida, did in the wake of the federal government’s Border Patrol blockade of the place in 1982 when large numbers of emigres from Cuba began coming in boats to U.S. shores. As a result of the federal blockade, Key West seceded and declared itself an independent nation, the Conch Republic. Visitors to Key West can formally apply for dual citizenship there even today. Needless to say, we offer this idea tongue in cheek.

But wait, the City of Falls Church is already bigger and more prosperous than a lot of sovereign political entities around the world, and in addition it is almost the exact size, population-wise, as the capital of one of the biggest countries, geographically, in the world. Falls Church’s roughly 14,500 population is the same as that of Nuuk, Greenland. At 830,000 square miles, Greenland as the world’s largest island is a tad more than Falls Church’s 2.2, but if the fine people of Nuuk, the name being Greenlander for “cape,” and originally known as Godthaab when recolonized by a Dane in 1738, are capable of governing all that real estate as an autonomous territory of Denmark, then so should the equally fine people of the “Little City” …maybe to become the “Little Country?”

Greenland was “discovered” by the Norwegian-born Eric the Red in 985 AD and legend has it that he called it Greenland, as opposed to the relatively more inviting Iceland to the east, to trick explorers and settlers into thinking that insofar as green was better than ice, so Greenland was the preferred destination. At any rate, Eric the Red (Thorvaldsson) thrived on Greenland, and one of his sons, Leif Erickson, is credited with being the first European to set foot on North America, centuries before Christopher Columbus.

But enough. Nuuk and Greenland are too cold to be considered a viable destination for political refugees. Far better would be Key West, which could be considered a Caribbean island. It was when the feds threw up a Border Patrol roadblock at the Last Chance Saloon in Florida City in April 1982, which caused a 17-mile traffic jam of cars leaving Key West, as the Border Patrol insisted on stopping and checking every car, that a huge rally was called at Key West’s famous Mallory Square and the then-mayor declared the city’s independence to the wild cheers of thousands.

Better still, fellow Americans in Falls Church and environs, let’s mobilize along with our sisters and brothers to stay right here by solving our problem with a mighty electoral victory on Nov. 5.

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Editorial: Key West, Nuuk Or Falls Church?

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