PERRY: Colorado GOP keeps cookin’ up hard-to-swallow conspiracy theories

PERRY: Colorado GOP keeps cookin’ up hard-to-swallow conspiracy theories

Then Republican candidate for Colorado governor Heidi Ganahl, speaks during a debate on the campus of Colorado State University-Pueblo Sept. 28, 2022, in Pueblo, Colo. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

And you thought it couldn’t get any worse.

At least I did. And millions of people like me probably are to blame for jinxing all of American Democracy by telling ourselves and each other, “this can’t get any (crazier) (weirder) (sicker) (more bizarre) (more dangerous.”

Donald Trump keeps lying about Hurricane Helene victims being victimized by corrupt FEMA folks. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene keeps lying about the Democratic government aiming Helene at Republican voters so Democrats can win the election.

Really.

Aurora, too,  has been waist deep in “make it stop” ever since Councilmember Danielle Jurinsky went on a Fox News-powered tear trying to persuade people that Aurora apartments are exploding with Venezuelan gangs, and that without the “right vote” on Election Day, the “wrong” immigration policy will have us swimming in immigrants in a matter of weeks.

She knows she’s dead right because she’s in the stable genius company of anti-immigrant allies like Rep. Lauren Boebert and Trump. Fox News personality Laura Ingraham thanked Jurinsky for coming on her show and confirming the “truth” Fox News dutifully dispenses 24/7.

Jurinsky continues to double down on doubters like Gov. Jared Polis, who said the tsunami of Tren de Aragua gangsters she said are flooding down northwest Aurora streets are figments of her imagination.

Imagine this, she rebutted on social media last week. A “Democrat” she knows or follows on a social media channel told someone, possibly her, that Venezuelan immigrants, only here a short time, are being steamrolled through citizenship class here in the metro area, so the dreaded foreigner “CAN VOTE,” Presumably for a Democrat.

Wow. Just freaking wow.

These immigrants, like all others, can’t even get work permits, even though they’re due them as political refugees, not “illegal immigrants.” The U.S. immigration bureaucracy is so behind and so broken, these immigrants haven’t a prayer of getting anywhere near a Green Card application.

Citizenship? In weeks or months? This sounds like the title track of “Jurinsky — The Musical!”

Maestro, can I have a D Flat?

“In just sev-en-ty days, I can make you a sca-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaam!”

My deepest apologies to Tim Curry and Richard O’Brien for such a cheap yet effective riff.

But really. Think about it. Why, in a Colorado place like Aurora and Denver, where there are already so many Democratic voters that there are virtually no Republicans holding any state or local public offices anymore — except a few on the Aurora City Council — would anyone kill themselves to push back against the entire weight of the Universe, to turn a handful of Venezuelan immigrants into citizens, for a few more Democratic votes?

The scheme sounds an awful lot like it came from some third-rate Russian AI service, Chat CCCP, after commanding it to “create a demonizing scenario about Venezuelans in this Aurora in America that will make the local Republican heads explode.”

Jurinsky’s not alone in eliciting the “wait, what” out of most of Colorado every time she talks into her X account.

Heidi Ganahl, who ran for governor as a Republican in 2022 against Jared Polis, and got seriously whooped while her candidacy drowned in a sea of conspiracy theories, just can’t get over it.

She was peeved after limping to the election finish line, dragging the ludicrous “furrygate” faux-scandal. She had tried to persuade the state that JeffCo schools were swimming in child-cat creatures and the school district let them poo in cat-litter-boxes to appease them. The media and the public dismissed her as the weird person she proved herself to be.

So she’s started her own online “journalism” channel, Rocky Mountain Voice, which offers her news that no one else seems to care to listen to anymore.

About two weeks ago, she published her “exclusive” two-year investigation into — are you ready for this — “election irregularities” in — wait for it: Douglas County.

Yup. That Douglas County. The Douglas County south of here that would kill for a Gov. DeSantis and has more Republicans than deciduous trees.

Ganahl’s “investigation” revealed that some electronic voting machines may have wifi cards in them. Yup.

And she reports that the USPS, that bastion of clarity and precision, may not have kept good records of all the ballots delivered and sent back. The numbers don’t match, something. And, brace yourself, some of the cameras pointed at voter drop boxes are NOT high-resolution.

There you have it.

When her own report went nowhere, she called a press conference at the state Capitol. About a week later, Ganahl began accusing media like the Denver Post, 9News, CPR and others of hiding her investigation from the public.

Journalists at the Denver Post and 9News saw the social media accusation, and let the public know, they never sent anyone to her show.

Ganahl swears she saw someone with a Denver Post tag on a bag.

Maybe a Venezuelan who picked it up at a Colfax Arc?

Undaunted, Ganahl has taken to X with a vengeance, telling anyone who will listen to her X-vid lecture, the sordid details of voter boxes without high-resolution cameras blurring out democracy.

This, just days after Colorado’s most infamous election denier and disputer, Tina Peters, was sentenced to nine years in prison for using her public position to undermine trust in Colorado’s provably solid electoral process.

“It’s the position she held that has provided her with the pulpit from which she can preach these lies,” Mesa County Judge Matthew Barrett said when sentencing Peters. “Every effort to undermine the integrity of our elections and public’s trust in our institutions has been made by you.”

That, from a judge in a place in Colorado where Republicans have long ruled, and still do.

It kind of gives you hope, when, lately, there’s little cause for that.

  Follow @EditorDavePerry on BlueSky, Threads, Mastodon, Twitter and Facebook or reach him at 303-750-7555 or dperry@SentinelColorado.com

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Publish date : 2024-10-08 02:59:00

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